Two new Olympic sports, for your consideration

olympic-ring-fail

I wonder what I need to do in order to get new sports introduced and implemented. To start, I need to acknowledge the silliness of some Olympic sports. I use rhythmic gymnastics and whatever that trampoline jumping this is as two examples for two useless sports.
My friend Adam has taken the biathlon for his special brand of obsolete and/or silly sports. Originally known as Military Patrol and was at one time used as an active competitive sport for Nordic military units, the use of skiing and shooting did prove stamina and accuracy. In fact, some of the same skills are still being used. If you were to go through Marine Corps Force Recon qualifications, you could potentially have a 5 mile run, an obstacle course, and then suddenly be brought aside to fill out thinking challenges such as a puzzles or math problem. These types of seemingly disparate challenges make the solver think on his feet and force them to concentrate when under strain.
But it’s much more fun to think of new and exciting sports, right? How about another shooting sport for the Winter Olympics? I’m thinking of Ski Jumping Skeet!

ski jumper
skeet_shoot_man_clear_sky

Yup, take the excitement of ski jumping off a 120 meter ski jump with your trusty Ithaca-brand 12 gauge on your back. As soon as your ski tips leave the ramp and you’re out in the Wild Blue Yonder, it’s time to grab the trusty blaster and yell out, “PULL!” as you line up a shot on the clay pigeon before you run out of airtime. Oh, and remember, you’re still being critiqued on how well you land your Telemark, but make sure to engage the safety and clear the barrel in case you wipe out.
On a bit more serious note, (as if I’m ever going to be serious), I have a thought for a new sliding event. If anyone watches off-brand sports on a Saturday afternoon, Red Bull has taken to show their own brand of extreme sports. One that has peaked my interest is Crashed Ice. If you’re unaware of what this is, it’s essentially having guys in hockey gear and pads racing down a narrow and descending ice path to see who can navigate the twist and turns and sudden drops in elevation. As a current hockey player playing in a local beer league, this has obvious interest for me.

RED BULL CRASHED ICE - Reigning world champion Croxall takes Ice

But what if we can apply this to the Olympics?? I mean, we have Bobsled (2 and 4 man), Skeleton, Luge (single and dual, ew!). So why can’t we have a guy in hockey pads and a good set of Easton’s take-off and skate the track?? There’s nothing holding this back from occurring because it’s an excellent example of an individual effort for stamina, balance, and skill as a racer and skater. I will also add this will eliminate any advantages the sled makes and focuses on the Olympian, not their equipment.

Think about it, some of the most revered sports focus solely on individual effort without excessive gear such as twelve foot bobsleds made by BMW and tested in wind tunnels. Figure skaters, alpine skiers, and snowboard cross racers all have to strap on their skis or skates and go forth with not much more. How about sending a couple hockey players down the chute and see who gets there first and in one piece? As a motivator, promise them some wings and beer waiting at the finish and see the level of competition increase tenfold!

aphoto_1
The author (kneeling, second from left) celebrating a first place with with a fake Stanley Cup. Well worth the effort!

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